I’m feeling great and empowered about myself, including my sexuality. I feel happy and positive. I feel like I can just be myself and think positively. I am thankful for all the supportive people I have around me, encouraging me to feel empowered by my choice so I can feel happy and at peace. I’ve always had an inner feeling that I’m into girls, and I am so glad that I’ve expressed my feelings and opened up to the emotions. I was terrified and worried before I told my family, my anxiety levels were high, and I felt like they would not accept me and judge me, but they didn’t. They were the complete opposite. They were positive and happy that I was honest, and I opened up about my feelings. It made me feel safe and much more comfortable; also, my anxiety levels decreased.
I still feel worried that others won’t accept me. I don’t like thinking this way, as when I have these negative thoughts, it heightens my OCD. The negative part of my brain tells me that no one will ever accept it. Which definitely isn’t true. I’m starting to learn that the thoughts and voices in my head telling me about negative things about my sexuality aren’t true. I sometimes struggle knowing which voice to listen to, the good or the bad? I think I can hear things when I don’t, and it stresses me out so much, my brain tells me bad things and tells me things that are not true. I have many false memories that affect me. I need to focus on myself and what makes me happy and not care what others think.
I need to feel empowered in myself and my mind, making sure I ignore my negative thoughts and feelings. I need to think positive, encourage positive feelings for good things to happen. For change to happen, I need to block out negative thoughts which make me feel upset and stressed. When I’m happy within myself, I feel good on the inside and out.
Learning how to react – for example, if someone told me I don’t accept your sexuality, then I would ask, why? Then, I would explain how that makes me feel and see where our relationship was after that conversation.
It’s so important to have people to open up to and feel heard after something as big as this. I tend to overthink a lot, and I’m scared of what people think of me when I tell them that I’m into girls. I don’t even know what I would do if they said they didn’t accept it. I need to find a way to accept myself more and stand up for myself positively and maturely to overcome this anxiety.
I can’t let a negative person who judges my sexuality make me feel insecure about my decisions. I need to start standing up for what I want in life and what makes me happy. Set goals for myself and achieve them by understanding that it’s possible, and I live life for myself, not for anyone else.
I’m feeling better and better each day. I’ve been opening up a lot more, but I’m still worried and overthinking that people are still talking about the situation. My OCD has been playing up-plotting situations in my head that stuff had happened when in reality it hasn’t; for example, a voice and thought came to my head stating all gay girls have tried it on with my little sister. This thought kept on going until my anxiety increased and until I felt utterly depressed and worthless. I sometimes believe my thoughts so much that I start feeling physically ill. As I believe everything my mind is telling me, positive and negative, I still believe every thought and memory that comes into my head. Not knowing and rationalising what a real memory is and what a false memory is.
False memories are common with OCD. People tend to plot scenarios into their heads and focus on the image and the different possibilities that could go wrong. I feel so much happier than I did. I feel like a light has switched on after these years. I feel different and much more valued. I feel like I can act like my true self, and I have my own identity. Feeling myself and much more confident in myself. I feel comfortable, focused, and engaged in my surroundings, being open about my sexuality and feeling ok to talk about it to people.
If you believe you’re struggling with any of the issues mentioned above, please don’t hesitate to contact us.
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